Anne of Green Gables

I just finished Anne of Green Gables again.

Was it my third or fourth time reading it?  I don't remember.  But I do remember that every time it has been the copy that my grandma gave to my mother who gave it to me.  When I open the cover, I always lean in close to catch a hint of that subtle smell of the pages that immediately floods my mind with memories.  No e-reader will ever compete with that.

Often, when I am reading over something I have just written, I'll say to myself, "Well, it's not literary genius, but it will do."

Anne of Green Gables is literary genius.  The words and images dance across the page in such a way that I'm only brought back from the vivid images in my minds eye by the thrill I feel in my heart at reading words so nicely put together.  I stare at the black type on white paper and wonder how L.M. Montgomery managed to do it.  I smile and shake my head, then dive back into Avonlea life, the beauty of Prince Edward Island, and the company of characters that live and breathe there.

Today has been kind of a rotten one for me.  Josie, who attended only two days of kindergarten before coming down with a fever and cough, was home again today.  This was day five of the illness.  Kimball came home from football practice yesterday with swollen and sore ankles that cannot be explained by any trauma.  They were still sore and swollen today.  I will take him to the doctor tomorrow immediately following Isaac's appointment with his ophthalmologist that will most likely bring the news of another eye surgery.  Evan brought home a letter yesterday that required my signature for him to participate in the Gifted and Talented reading program at school.  My heart skipped, soared, and danced at the thought that Evan's reading problems were finally at an end.  I felt in awe that all the hard work at home was paying off to such an extent.  My more judicious side emailed his teacher this morning to ask what was up.  The response came back that Evan was reading at grade level but it would probably be wise to keep him in class and not send him to G/T.  The G/T list had been made up from only one particular test result when many must be taken into consideration. I am still awaiting one more email before I have to talk to Evan about it.  It has been this news that has upset me the most.  I have to admit it--I cried.

And so tonight, when all the kids were asleep I fled to Green Gables.  I was near the end of the book and so ignored my bedside clock and finished it.  In the book, as in life, tragedy strikes and life goes on.  There is still beauty and laughter and happiness.  I know I did not experience real tragedy today and I am grateful for the good moments...Coloring with Josie on the floor of the basement.  Our books side by side in the rectangle of sunlight that lay on the carpet.  We found a word search on one of the pages that she was eager to do.  I love word searches.  There are tricks to be taught if one hopes to find the words swiftly.  Josie learned quickly and was proud that she completed the whole thing.  I watched her complete her first word search before she could read most of the words.   Yes, that was grand.  And, Isaac--without any prompting, he drew a picture of his dad at work.  It is the first time I've seen him draw anything close to a person that was recognizable.  Great job, little man, I can definitely see the resemblance.  And, the sight of that paper waiting on Daddy's nightstand for him to find when he comes home tired from work truly makes me smile.  Thanks!

Divergent

I finished reading this book a month ago.  The fact that I still think about it blows me away.

The social structure in this book is what has got me thinking.  The story takes place after a war has been fought in which the current government was taken down and a new system put in place.  The new system is made up of five factions: Erudite, Abnegation, Dauntless, Amity, and Candor.  Each one based on a virtue that the people believe could have stopped the horrific war from happening.  Those who feel deception was the cause join Candor and live lives of complete honesty.  Those who blame aggression make living peacefully their utmost goal and join Amity.  The Dauntless are convinced it was cowardice that led to the war and so feel a life without fear is what is needed.  Erudites value intelligence because they pinpoint ignorance as the cause of the war.  Abnegation blames selfishness and so they are devoted to being completely selfless.

Beatrice, the main character in the story is born into the Abnegation faction, but doesn't feel as though she belongs there.  This is the faction that has gotten me thinking the most.  I suppose it's because I have such a strong desire not to be selfish.  I often make choices based on that very thing, and have found that if one concentrates too hard on it, it can drive you crazy.

I live in a house with five other people.  I am in charge of the schedule and the money matters, so I make a lot of decisions.  I really have tried to base those decisions on what my kids and husband need and want, only now my kids have grown up enough to all have different and definite opinions about everything under the sun, not to mention my husbands opinions (which can sometimes be based on very little information because he's gone to work a lot--Thanks, honey, for working so hard.)  But it leaves me feeling pulled in five different directions and so at times I feel lost.

I feel lost while being the one to implement big decisions that Mat and I have discussed like how to manage savings, vacation funds, retirement, college, etc.  I'm the one transferring the money and telling everybody "No, we can't afford such and such."

I feel lost with little decisions too.  What to make for dinner is hard to decide when I quite literally can't please everyone, which often can mean Isaac won't eat at all unless I make time to give him something special.

If we are together as a family I feel like no matter what we do, where we go, or what we eat someone is always unhappy about it.  This bothers me WAY more than it should and this book got me thinking that perhaps the reason it bothers me so much is because I'm trying so hard to push aside what I want to do, where I want to go, and what I want to serve for dinner.

I often crave alone time and have found myself for the first time ever wishing the summer would go faster so I might scrape a few precious hours together while the kids are at school when I can only be in charge of me.  This book got me thinking that if I could just change my focus to consider a little more what I want to do while still having everyone bustle around me, maybe I wouldn't wish them away.  And that would really be better for everyone because I would be a lot happier.  Still, I'm having a hard time applying this knowledge.

The Dauntless faction also interested me because they travel a "fear landscape" in which a computer program finds your fears and makes them seem as if they are really happening.  It got me thinking about what the program would find in my amygdala.  What are my fears and how do they effect my life?

I'm still thinking on that one and trying to decide what faction I would choose to join.  You have to join one if you live in Veronica Roth's world for the Factionless live on the streets with nothing.

I love a book that compels me to think long after I have closed it and slipped it into the book return at the local library.