Divergent

I finished reading this book a month ago.  The fact that I still think about it blows me away.

The social structure in this book is what has got me thinking.  The story takes place after a war has been fought in which the current government was taken down and a new system put in place.  The new system is made up of five factions: Erudite, Abnegation, Dauntless, Amity, and Candor.  Each one based on a virtue that the people believe could have stopped the horrific war from happening.  Those who feel deception was the cause join Candor and live lives of complete honesty.  Those who blame aggression make living peacefully their utmost goal and join Amity.  The Dauntless are convinced it was cowardice that led to the war and so feel a life without fear is what is needed.  Erudites value intelligence because they pinpoint ignorance as the cause of the war.  Abnegation blames selfishness and so they are devoted to being completely selfless.

Beatrice, the main character in the story is born into the Abnegation faction, but doesn't feel as though she belongs there.  This is the faction that has gotten me thinking the most.  I suppose it's because I have such a strong desire not to be selfish.  I often make choices based on that very thing, and have found that if one concentrates too hard on it, it can drive you crazy.

I live in a house with five other people.  I am in charge of the schedule and the money matters, so I make a lot of decisions.  I really have tried to base those decisions on what my kids and husband need and want, only now my kids have grown up enough to all have different and definite opinions about everything under the sun, not to mention my husbands opinions (which can sometimes be based on very little information because he's gone to work a lot--Thanks, honey, for working so hard.)  But it leaves me feeling pulled in five different directions and so at times I feel lost.

I feel lost while being the one to implement big decisions that Mat and I have discussed like how to manage savings, vacation funds, retirement, college, etc.  I'm the one transferring the money and telling everybody "No, we can't afford such and such."

I feel lost with little decisions too.  What to make for dinner is hard to decide when I quite literally can't please everyone, which often can mean Isaac won't eat at all unless I make time to give him something special.

If we are together as a family I feel like no matter what we do, where we go, or what we eat someone is always unhappy about it.  This bothers me WAY more than it should and this book got me thinking that perhaps the reason it bothers me so much is because I'm trying so hard to push aside what I want to do, where I want to go, and what I want to serve for dinner.

I often crave alone time and have found myself for the first time ever wishing the summer would go faster so I might scrape a few precious hours together while the kids are at school when I can only be in charge of me.  This book got me thinking that if I could just change my focus to consider a little more what I want to do while still having everyone bustle around me, maybe I wouldn't wish them away.  And that would really be better for everyone because I would be a lot happier.  Still, I'm having a hard time applying this knowledge.

The Dauntless faction also interested me because they travel a "fear landscape" in which a computer program finds your fears and makes them seem as if they are really happening.  It got me thinking about what the program would find in my amygdala.  What are my fears and how do they effect my life?

I'm still thinking on that one and trying to decide what faction I would choose to join.  You have to join one if you live in Veronica Roth's world for the Factionless live on the streets with nothing.

I love a book that compels me to think long after I have closed it and slipped it into the book return at the local library.